"terri's loves" continued
afterwards i was numb . the police and later the fbi and their endless questions. them asking you to repeat your statement again and again . their snide suspicions and innuendos .
"did they touch you ?
do you want to speak to a female officer ?
did you think of calling for help as you were coming out of the bank ?
do you know this woman in the picture ?
did you know she was a teller who quit the day before the robbery?
have you ever seen the woman in this other picture before?
did you know she was the teller who called in sick at the last minute that morning ?
why did you choose that bank ?
what time did you arrive there ?
have you ever been in that bank before?
how long were you in there before the robbery started ?
why weren't you at work?
does your boss always let you run personal errands when you're supposed to be working?
did they ask you to drive the getaway vehicle or did they tell you ?
why didn't you immediately yell for help after they left ?
why did you wait twenty minutes before calling for help ?
why don't you want us to notify your husband ? don't you want to see him?
usually that's the first person a woman wants to see --does that seem unusual to you?
mrs geshay are you listening ?
ma'm are you having trouble with your hearing ? are you alright ?
you seem kinda out of it--were you on any medications this morning ?
Would you like a doctor ma’m?"
they went on and on --as if trying to trap you or catch you in some lie . you wanted to just scream and tell those idiots that while they were bothering an innocent victim with all these questions --those two men were getting away--most likely planning their next 'heist' already .
i didn't care anymore . enough was enough .
i called bob and told him what had happened about the robbery and all --he was stunned --he said, "i thought you had gotten back to the office already?
...terri , wasn't that you i was talking to about handling that presentation for me?
...you know , the power point thing for next monday's staff meeting ?
--oh no wait --that must have been janice i mentioned that to ."
i could scream --but i didn't really feel like bothering to anymore.
bob --janice --the job --the thing with andy cheating--i didn't care anymore. i had looked death in the eyes that morning and nothing in my life was as important as i had thought.
you know the job-- the competing with janice-- the house --andy --the kids --none of it was the same to me after that--it was like you had been asleep all your life and walking around in a dream. then something jolts you awake and everything seems different to you --it's like your old life that you thought was so wonderful kinda loses its shine . it doesn't seem such a great thing anymore .
its like a big disappointment --like when you stay up late one night and discover that santa claus is just mom and dad .
it's disillusionment --the illusion you were living under all of your life --kinda dissolves a little --just enough for you to see it for what it is .
for a moment in that bank when you stepped behind that counter and put the money in the bag --it was like you had taken charge . like it was you who was robbing that bank . like you were for a moment free of all the demands and pressures and responsibilities that everybody always dumps on you and assumes you'll carry out.
for a moment you were in charge and making your own rules . living life on your own terms instead of always being dictated to and then doing your best to please .
you look inside that huge black hole of a gun pointed at your face-- in the hands of a screaming wild-eyed maniac--an animal that you know for certain would kill you ---you're standing in the midst of absolute chaos and something happens to you--something takes over you -- swallows you up and you can‘t get out .
if you really think that you are going to die in the next few seconds, and it doesn't happen --then afterwards you're not quite the same person you were before.
it's hard to explain if it hasn't happened to you . it's like you tell this great joke at a party and no one gets it--dead silence --all you can say is "well hell...guess you had to be there ."
"did they touch you ?
do you want to speak to a female officer ?
did you think of calling for help as you were coming out of the bank ?
do you know this woman in the picture ?
did you know she was a teller who quit the day before the robbery?
have you ever seen the woman in this other picture before?
did you know she was the teller who called in sick at the last minute that morning ?
why did you choose that bank ?
what time did you arrive there ?
have you ever been in that bank before?
how long were you in there before the robbery started ?
why weren't you at work?
does your boss always let you run personal errands when you're supposed to be working?
did they ask you to drive the getaway vehicle or did they tell you ?
why didn't you immediately yell for help after they left ?
why did you wait twenty minutes before calling for help ?
why don't you want us to notify your husband ? don't you want to see him?
usually that's the first person a woman wants to see --does that seem unusual to you?
mrs geshay are you listening ?
ma'm are you having trouble with your hearing ? are you alright ?
you seem kinda out of it--were you on any medications this morning ?
Would you like a doctor ma’m?"
they went on and on --as if trying to trap you or catch you in some lie . you wanted to just scream and tell those idiots that while they were bothering an innocent victim with all these questions --those two men were getting away--most likely planning their next 'heist' already .
i didn't care anymore . enough was enough .
i called bob and told him what had happened about the robbery and all --he was stunned --he said, "i thought you had gotten back to the office already?
...terri , wasn't that you i was talking to about handling that presentation for me?
...you know , the power point thing for next monday's staff meeting ?
--oh no wait --that must have been janice i mentioned that to ."
i could scream --but i didn't really feel like bothering to anymore.
bob --janice --the job --the thing with andy cheating--i didn't care anymore. i had looked death in the eyes that morning and nothing in my life was as important as i had thought.
you know the job-- the competing with janice-- the house --andy --the kids --none of it was the same to me after that--it was like you had been asleep all your life and walking around in a dream. then something jolts you awake and everything seems different to you --it's like your old life that you thought was so wonderful kinda loses its shine . it doesn't seem such a great thing anymore .
its like a big disappointment --like when you stay up late one night and discover that santa claus is just mom and dad .
it's disillusionment --the illusion you were living under all of your life --kinda dissolves a little --just enough for you to see it for what it is .
for a moment in that bank when you stepped behind that counter and put the money in the bag --it was like you had taken charge . like it was you who was robbing that bank . like you were for a moment free of all the demands and pressures and responsibilities that everybody always dumps on you and assumes you'll carry out.
for a moment you were in charge and making your own rules . living life on your own terms instead of always being dictated to and then doing your best to please .
you look inside that huge black hole of a gun pointed at your face-- in the hands of a screaming wild-eyed maniac--an animal that you know for certain would kill you ---you're standing in the midst of absolute chaos and something happens to you--something takes over you -- swallows you up and you can‘t get out .
if you really think that you are going to die in the next few seconds, and it doesn't happen --then afterwards you're not quite the same person you were before.
it's hard to explain if it hasn't happened to you . it's like you tell this great joke at a party and no one gets it--dead silence --all you can say is "well hell...guess you had to be there ."
posted by dsekou at 8:20 AM
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